'Depression is not something you can just "snap out of." It's caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals, along with other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated.'

I was 13 when I was first diagnosed with depression, it took hold of me and has ruled my life ever since... a whole six years and I recently decided maybe its time I raised a little awareness... maybe let people in on a little secret...

Well, to start with I'm not writing any of this for your sympathy, I have enough of that from people who dont understand, all I want is your acceptance. I'm not a freak and neither is anyone else who suffers... and yes I know, as well as most do that there are a few attention seekers out there... but not everyone who suffers wants the world to know.

I've never really been one to be ashamed of how I feel, afterall its getting pretty common; around 15% of the population will feel depressed or low for a prolonged period at least once in their lives and depression is the fourth most common cause of disability worldwide.

I was considering having a little bit at the bottom entitled 'My Story' but decided against it when I remembered this isnt for me to vent, and yes it might show that my understanding goes beyond textbook knowledge, but who wants to hear me go on about my own experiences when they're busy having their own. So instead I thought if anyone wants their own stuff posting on here (feelings, poems etc)they're more than welcome to email me with their experiences and will remain anonymous if they like. 

What is depression?

Well, its 1.45am and Im trying my hardest to think of a way to explain depression to people who dont know, but its hard, you know? Maybe you do know.

To me it was infinite pain, sadness, worthlessness, uselessness. Tired, so tired. Ever remember at school? (If you werent the popular kid that is) when you saw everyone in their little groups, enjoying a joke, laughing, smiling but never letting you in on their little secret? To me thats how depression feels, like Im being left out of the happiness and warmth. But this isnt all about me and everyone feels different.

Some people may describe it as a black curtain enveloping them, other say its like total withdrawal from everything and everyone around them.

But back to the question...

With depression there are feelings of extreme sadness that can last for a long time. These feelings are severe enough to interfere with daily life, and can last for weeks or months rather than days. Depression is a serious illness. Doctors use the terms 'depression', 'depressive illness' or clinical depression to refer to something very different from the common experience of feeling miserable or fed up for a short period of time.

Depression can affect anyone.

Symptoms

There are 3 different categories of symptoms:

Psychological symptoms:

• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Tearfulness
• Continuous low / blue mood or sadness
• Feelings of guilt
• Feeling irritable and intolerant of others
• Poor motivation and poor interest / difficulty making decisions
• Lack of enjoyment
• Suicidal thoughts / thoughts of harming someone else
• Anxiety / obsessional worries; acts, or images

Physical symptoms:

• Slowed movement / speech
• Change in appetite / weight (usually decreased but sometimes increased)
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Lack of energy / lack of interest in sex

Social symptoms:

• Poor work performance
• Reduced social activities and contact with friends
• Reduced hobbies and interests
• Difficulties in home and family life

Diagnosis and Treatment

Ok so I cant sit here and say 'Yeah you have all those symptoms, youre depressed.' Only a doctor can tell you. And its better to get it diagnosed early so you cant get treated straight away. A lot of people go months even years without help. Is it because theyre ashamed? Maybe. I find being ashamed of something like depression is a little pathetic. After all whats is there to be ashamed of? That you have feelings?

Getting treated is pretty easy nowadays as there is a lot of medication on the market and talk therapies, your doctor will decide which is best for you.

I wont go into detail about all of the medications there are as I would be here forever, not only that but having a very stubborn brain, none of the ones I've tried (and there have been many) have worked for me, so I'm not able to recommend anything. But I've not given up, I'm still willing to try. But I'm currently working on a little project that involves me using my initative and getting better without the help of medicine or doctors, and its working, slowly but surely, and if it doesnt? Theres always plenty of alternatives.

Causes and Complications

The causes of depression are often very complex. There are two types reactive and endogenous the former meaning depression being caused by a distressing event (e.g. bereavement) and the latter being the one with no obvious cause. Feelings of depression are caused by a chemical change that affects how the brain functions.

About half of the people who have a first episode of depression will have another episode within 10 years. Mental disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all cases of suicide.